This is my dog Noel’s blog. I started this blog as I sit here unable to sleep. After four hours of sleep I woke tossing and turning about the decision I made today, no yesterday, to amputate my dogs front left leg. I figured this is a great way to get support through this time of change for my dog and our family…as well as help others as they face this road as well.
My husband is a hunter, fisherman, man’s man type of guy. Don’t get me wrong. He loves our pets and bawled like a baby when we had to euthanize our senior boxer less than a year ago. We had her for many years and she was our baby before our human babies. She was the sweetest girl anyone has ever met. We are partial because she is our dog, but even my mother, who strongly dislikes many dogs, agrees she was the best dog in the world. So my husband is not heartless to animals, but he is that “its a dog” kind of guy. He is a I could buy three new dogs with that kind of money guy. He is that vet bill is a down payment on a car. I understand the last one..we have real bills that cannot be avoided. Money is a real issue when deciding what to do for your pets. Should we never own pets because we aren’t wealthy? That seems crazy. Who says the wealthy give their dogs a better life? I mean, honestly, Paris Hilton’s parade of chihuahuas in a purse. Enough said.
So when Noel developed a small bump on her foot we thought lets watch it maybe she bumped, bruised it, etc. She is very active and has cut up her legs acting crazy before. The lump grew…okay this is cyst. Boxers are prone to them. My dad’s 7 year old boxer had 6 or so non-cancerous cysts removed last year. The surgery cost roughly $1500. We could not afford it at this point and agreed that we can have the lump removed when we have more available money. Well that was stupid because lets be serious, we are never going to have extra money laying around! We have two kids, a mortgage and ton of student loan debt. The cyst grew and grew and grew. Okay hun, I am taking her to the vet! He cancelled my appointment and said we don’t have $1500. We really didn’t. A few months later Noel’s lump grew. He agreed we are taking her.
I don’t know why cancer never seemed to be an option in my mind. I figured its a large fatty cyst. We’ll cut them off and she is fine. This was obviously naive of me. Maybe it was that she was only one and extremely active and not phased by the mass on her front left paw. Maybe I was in denial. We are not the type of family who can put a dog through chemotherapy. We are not the type of family who can pay for surgery after surgery. So it was clear that this was a one shot deal. Remove the tumor and pray for the best possible recovery.
Well after an hour of surgery, the vet called and stated he could not possibly remove the tumor without taking a toe, and possibly leaving the other 2 toes useless due to tissue decay and nerve damage. It was possible that he took so much tissue that the open wound would not even close on its own without a skin graft. We had two choices take her home and hope it heals and the cancer does not return…if the open wound didn’t heal and the toe ended up dying we would have to have additional surgeries to repair it. This was not an option. One surgery was already a struggle to agree upon. Even I understand I could not put my family of four..soon to be five…in serious financial debt.
My other option…amputate the leg. My dog who jumps the fence to join us in the garden, chases squirrels, digs holes in my yard, jumps up on every visitor to say hello ( I know this is bad manners), but this same dog with only three legs?? It seemed cruel. How would she enjoy life the same way? But the alternative? Bring her home, pray to God she heals and if not I would face the decision of euthanasia because we could never let the dog suffer. Either that or lay out another 3 grand for the amputation I could decide to do today.
I chose the amputation. It seemed it was the only way to guarantee the life of my 20 month old baby Noel. She is so sweet and loving. She is goofy and awkward and even annoying at times. She licks constantly and is overly eager to love everyone. But was I ready to let this baby go? No. So I let her leg go.
As of now, she is still at the animal hospital recovering. I have not even seen her yet. I am up at 5 am Easter morning with anxiety about the new few weeks, months, and the past few months. If only we had taken her to the vet when it was a small bump. Of course, they would have removed it…She would have been fine. Well she would have had her leg. Sure, the cancer had a decent likelihood of returning, but my dog would get up and run like every other dog. I have regrets of past decisions and fears of the consequences of the current decision. I understand its just a dog to many people, but she is a member of our family. She is only a pup. My husband is currently upset about our $3,000 and cannot understand my emotion about our pet. He never connected to her like our past dog. But still, he is sick about the new credit card debt and seems to be angry at me for making this decision. So, we have a tough road ahead of us for several reasons.
I will likely bring Noel home later today. Easter dinner will surely be accompanied by dog. I plan to let you know how her recovery goes and how Noel adapts to the 3 legged life.
Happy Easter.
Good morning
You are in a tough spot…but I think your husband will “come around” when he sees how well Noel will adapt to her life as a tripawd.
Mind you..it may take a week or two for her to recover…there are ups and downs with meds and adjustments….but she is a young otherwise healthy dog.
I support you decision to give Noel a chance….and about the “what ifs” – you will never know and we have a motto in this community – “No regrets” 🙂
Many hugs and Happy Easter
Linda and Tucker
Welcome Noel-
The decision you made is so difficult and more so when your support system is not all on board. Know that no matter what, you made the best decision you could at the time and that means that if you would have chosen not to do the amputation, that would have been fine also. It’s obvious you love Noel and that’s what is important. That said, I am glad you have given him a chance to go forward in life.
The next couple weeks are the toughest and, just like when your kids are hurt or sick, sleep will be in short supply. Noel is young and active so will adapt, but each dog has their own timeline. Give him time as he just had major surgery.
We are here to support you and help you through this and never hesitate to jump on and ask for help. The chat room is great for some immediate help.
I look forward to hearing all about Noel. Remember to celebrate the little things (pees, poops, first stairs, etc.). This journey is unlike anything you will experience with any pet and what a wonderful chance to show your children compassion and how to face challenges head on as Noel will show them what a hero is.
Take care-
Luanne and Spirit Shooter
I know it’s hard, but please don’t feel guilty about your decisions. Most of us have been through the same thing, and asked the same questions – do we amputate or not, can we afford this, will s/he be able to adapt, etc. It’s so tough, but you’ll get through it! And your husband’s fear is justified, even if you don’t like some of the thoughts behind it (“it’s just a dog”). Money troubles are really hard too!! And he might be so consumed with that emotion (in his tough man way) that he can’t stop to think about Noel.
You made the right decision to give your Noel a chance at life. Now all you can do is hang on for the journey you’re about to take!! Love her, give her lots of kisses, and try to be happy for her. If you’re happy, she will be happy. That’s the nice thing about dogs, they are easy to please 🙂
I wish you the best
Jenn and Sebastian
P.S. I found the 24 hour chat room on this website to be a great help in the first few nights when I was so stressed out.
Welcome to Tripawds, although I’m sorry cancer has brought you here. What kind of cancer are you dealing with?
I know it’s hard, but try not to second guess your decisions, we do the best we can for our pups. And don’t feel bad about factoring dollars into your decisions either, it would be great if we had unlimited funds but most of us don’t.
My pug Maggie had mast cell cancer- a tumor in her knee was the reason she had an amp. I didn’t find it until it was too big to remove, and I beat myself up about that for a while… she had a tumor removed from her side about 6 months before so I thought I should have been more vigilant. I finally let it go when I needed to focus on getting Mag over her surgery and on with her life. See- she didn’t care, she didn’t hold a grudge (well actually she did, but only because I messed up her routine, she was quite stubborn!). Dogs tend to live in the moment, and they just deal with what is in front of them.
You might want to check out the forums- you will get lots of support and information there. Don’t get discouraged if Noel isn’t herself for a few days or a couple of weeks. The recovery period can be tough- but she will get better and will soon be amazing you with her resilience!
Karen and Spirit Maggie
Best wishes for a speedy recovery! Please keep us posted,
thank you all so much for the support! it means a great deal and you provided words I definitely needed to hear! We brought Noel home yesterday afternoon and although she is adapting she is doing GREAT! she is already trying to run…although I have to stop her for now until she heals, but it lets me know nothing will stop her!
Karen and Spirit Maggie, Noel also had a large mast cell tumor. It was quite large. It started out pretty small like a cyst or even just a bump for running and digging, but then grew pretty quickly. Glad to hear your Maggie is doing well.
I will post more and keep updating on her recovery: )
Oh wow I’m just catching up on yesterday’s blogs (I must have just missed yours when you posted because I too was up at some crazy hour, 2 am or so, with insomnia on Saturday night!). But anyhow, I’m so sorry your’e going through this and very glad she made it through surgery and is home.
Many other couples have faced the same disagreement about amputation and/or treating cancer. I think in time your hubby will be convinced that the amp was a good decision. Tripawds really do show people how to overcome adversity and live life to the fullest. They a living lesson on how to live great lives. Take things one day at a time, and you’ll be OK.
When you get a chance do come to the Forums where you’ll find lots of support from our community (not everyone gets to read the blogs all the time). We’re here to help.
P.S. I know how it really stinks that money plays into these decisions about animal care, but you say it so well when you wrote “Should we never own pets because we aren’t wealthy? That seems crazy. Who says the wealthy give their dogs a better life? ”
I understand the debt thing, totally. If and when you are ready, I always suggest to friends & family that financial guru Dave Ramsey’s philosophies are life-changing, you might want to check him out when things settle down.
Oh and did I get that you’re expecting a baby too? Congrats! You have your hands full but you can do this, your Noel will show you how! xoxo
Actually Maggie crossed the bridge almost 4 years ago- but don’t be sad! She lived almost 4 years after her amp and she did not pass from mast cell cancer.
If you are interested (and if you have time) you can read her story here: http://maggiesjourney.tripawds.com/maggies-story/, and you can read about her amputation and treatment here: http://maggiesjourney.tripawds.com/maggies-amp-and-chemo-treatment-for-mast-cell-cancer/.
When I saw Noel’s picture and you said cancer I was thinking mast cell- Boxers, like Pugs are prone to MCTs.
I hope recovery is going OK.
Karen
Hi again,
Another blog you should read is Roxy’s- although her mom hasn’t posted in awhile in the blog. Roxy is a front amp boxer girl who had a grade III MCT and no chemo. Roxy celebrated 4 YEARS this past February. Here is the forum post: http://tripawds.com/forums/shout-outs/roxys-4-year-ampuversary/, and here is Roxy’s blog: http://lesliec.tripawds.com/.
Karen
Karen..thanks so much for the links! I have been reading about Maggie and Roxy. It is great to see their journeys. thank you for the kind words and support Jerry..and yes we are expecting..luckily I have a ways to go, so Noel should be completely recovered by the time the new baby arrives.